can't believe it.

I cannnnot believe that i haven't blogged in this long, so i'm plannning on doing a freakishly long one. wellll at least i'll try. :] in the past week i've gone to washington, DC with the school. it was great, but i reallly wish that andre would have been able to go. it would have been beast with her. not that it wasn't without her. but me and her have gotten a whole lot closer this year! and i love ittt. our hatred makes us, it's agreed. anyways! i absolutely fell in love with washington, DC. and it was greattt. i grew closer to some of my friends. i mean of course, i was close to them before, but that was just over the top, friendshipppp. me and kelsey's friendship didn't grow closer or farther apart though. for some reason, i just think that we are as close as we're going to get ever. & i'm great with that, she's my bestfriend, and i don't see that changing anytime soon. But for some reason, i feel that i will always trust andrea taylor more than anyone, i can straight up tell her anything, and she will openly give her opinions. Know something that's been pissing me off? people saying stuff about shaun that is definitely not true. want to say he's gay to me? go right ahead, like i give a shit. i know the truth. i reallly like him, but for some reason lately it seems like i'm getting apart from him, because we hardly get to talk, and he never calls. and when i call him, he doesn't answer. it upsets me, but oh well. if he doesn't ask me out soon, then who knows. sure, i like a few other people. but i know that i like shaun the most and i don't see us stopping to talk anytime soon. or at least i hope not, because i can see myself in the future falling in love with him. he's just that type of guy. i'm starting to write songs. i just felt like straight up saying that ya'lll so you don't freak out if i start singing them in the middle of nowhere. i'm not that bad of a singer, surprisingly. i think that i'm okay with contemperary. i can just sing and sing all alone and feel like anyone would accept me. but i haaate singing in front of people. enough with that; i'm the most pathetic person ever. i saw logan today, and i just thought of being with him again, then i thought about how wrong it would be. he is wayyy to wrong for me. i mean, sure, he's adorable. everyone knows that. but he's a totalllll jackass. and he's goood at covering it up around me, he even wrote me a song and sang it/played guitar to it. it was the most romantic thing i've ever endured. but. if you get out and hear the things that he has said about me, it's rediculous. i've heard from some people that he dated me because he thought i would have sex with him. like that would happpen this early. i had my fucking first kiss with him. soo, i have no clue what he was thinking! random thought*i'm gettting my bangs again todayyy. haha, finallly, they've grown out way too long. i have a sudden urge to shop. i'm so sleeepy though. and i have church latttterrr. Some people annoy me like none other., they can speak their opinions, yeah sure. but if they're saying stuff that is deffinitely not true, and they're sooo confident they're right. its laaaame. like don't talk shit about obama, he's the president. i don't care if you say stuff about him. we all know that if he was white; you wouldn't even be saying it in the first placee! please stop calling me a whore? if you know me, you'd know the truth is that i'm not a whore. i mean sure, there's plenty of guys out there that i'd make out with. but nothing more at this age. and truely, i've kissed one guy! maybe i sound lame? but i don't care, honestly. fannny is the cooolest. her and her family invited me to go with them to martinique this summmer (french island in carribean sea) i mean, it sounds beastttt. but i don't think my momma is going to let me go, because she's sooo gay.

Dear God, please help me find a way in this world. Help me lead others in your path, and forgive me my sins. Amen.





Love,

Emily