its poetry in the making

i cannot believe i let this happen AGAIN.. i mean seriously, if you tell a friend that you like the guy your introducing you to, what do you do? you certainly don't go off and start fucking making out with them in front of you. what kind of whoreish friend would want you to go through that? i'm tired of being third wheel. i invite my friend and a guy to the movies or just to go wherever, and you like the guy, and they know, but they stilll date them!?! it's fucking hell. and i am not going to let this shit happen to me again.

trust me, i know that i like another dude too, but seriously, it still pissed me offf, and i have never looked soo horrid in my life. my face was black with makeup. and i was stuttering throughout the night while i was on the phone and IMing my true friends. i know that i'm supposed to have a date tommorrow, i KNOW that. and i don't even know if i feel like going anymore, i know i like him, but idkk. if he texts me later about it, then i may consider going. alex is my brother.. i shouldn't have this feeling about him, but in some strange way.. i do. i always have, and now he knows that. he just fucking met her and he decides to do that in front of me, when he already had thought i liked him. what a fucking bitch! gah. fmylife. fmylife, FML! i reallly don't like this whatsoever, and call me pathetic, i don't really give a shit at all. i'm righting poetry about this, it's clearing my mind, and i'm planning on using it for my project in mcConnell's class. i've been praying hard, maybe Jesus will show threw, and i hope he does, i've seen him perform a miracle before. and that's why i believe so strongly in him. once you see a miracle so greatly performed, it's hard not to. my little cousin (miracle baby) is still alive because of the 10 churches that all prayed strongly for her.

enough with that, thursday was greatttt. i stayed at school for over 12 hours, but it was still amazing. we performed our play, i was in the teen age scene. and everyone seemed to love it. i didn't forget my lines, as surprising as that may sound! and i guess we did great, cause leanna tells me now everytime i see her :]

i love the jfms drama club casttt<3333



Ciao,
Emily